In case you're confused, yes this was scheduled for Saturday but I got the call this morning to say that only one of the embryos was growing so they wanted to get it in sooner rather than later. As I'm sure you can imagine, this was quite distressing. I had in my head that we had a good stash and would have enough to use some and freeze some so we could get a couple of trys in. We get one shot from this round. This is still better than last time, but I am crushed.
So today the only embryo to get to 8 cells, got put back in. Ashley is still overseas, because we had planned to do this on Saturday. He flys in tomorrow morning. There was no possible way he could be here with the amount of notice we had. If they hadn't said Saturday, we would have changed flights and gone through the cost and the inconvenience of the travel change, but we scrapped those plans when they said Saturday. So I went by myself. The nurse held my hand.
My sister offered to come with me. When I turned her down she suggested I take my mother. I didn't want them. The room is already too crowded. When I conceive my child, the only person in the room should be Ashley.
The only win I had was that they let me put in two embryos. As I said, one is 8 cell. I'm calling him Alfred. The other is a Grade 3 with fragmentation. I'm calling him Bert. (that's coz we had emby A and B - I know I'm crazy but this way I can talk to them and tell them to grow).
Albert is good looking. He shows signs of growing well. He might survive. The bigger question is whether he sticks. Here he is:
Bert is the best of a bad bunch. The other 7 embryos are grade 4 with lots of fragmentation. The reality is they won't survive to freeze. Bert was a 50/50 shot of making it to freeze. Probably closer to 40/60 against. So I cried at my dr and pointed out that he was going to die anyway, at last we could put him in and maybe have a chance. She agreed to do it, but only because he won't survive. I know this. I'm still sending him positive vibes. She is very against me having twins. I think the chances of me getting even one are so slim as to feel non existent. But maybe Bert will be a fighter. Maybe he'll hang on. This is him:
I realise that I have given the embryos boy names. Maybe I should have gone one of each, but then what if I started wishing for one more than the other?? Lol. Not for reals. These are just the names that fit. If I were to get pregnant I promise not to name the actual child Alfred or Bert. Particularly if it's a girl.
So cross your fingers and your toes and your legs and your arms and your eyes and anything else you can think of to cross. We are now waiting till we can do a test. All thoughts are for healthy babies. And for me not to go crazy in the interim.
E
No comments:
Post a Comment