Long time, no post

That is because I am on forced rest. Not bed rest, but baby rest.

We went and saw the Dr after all the results were in. She, as always, was super surprised and shocked that it hadn't worked, cause everything went really well. I have already told her she is not allowed to describe procedures as going "really well" because she says this every time and it always ends up sucking, so it has lost its comfort. 

Well, we three (Dr Boothroyd, myself and Ashley, who I dragged along for a change) discussed options. I pretty much said, that we weren't ready to give up, but we would do what she recommends. She said that we should absolutely not give up, because we should be pregnant. In her opinion there is no reason why we aren't already pregnant (gee, that's helpful />sarcasm). But she suggested we have an extra rest month, and Ashley agreed. They both think I'm overly invested in this. I have to say, even writing that infuriates me. Of course I'm invested!! If I wasn't we would have walked away years ago.

So for the last month I have been chilling. No baby talk. No baby thoughts. Just living my life. I'll admit that it's been a nice rest. But we'll see how I feel in two weeks when I dawns on me that I have another month to wait before we start injecting (because without this forced pause we'd be starting the drugs next week). 

I think the other thing that has helped me stay calm and happy is a new addition to our household. Not quite a baby, but for the time being he's my baby. And I'm channelling all my maternal energy into his little body. Meet Henry

He's 5 months old and is a snuggly loving little Beagle. Ashley and I are completely in love. We have lavished him in toys and treats. Don't believe me? Today he made a pile of all his inside toys...

Mattresses, toys, towels, anything that belongs to him got piled up in front of the window for him to snuggle up with. But those are just his inside toys. He's got another dozen specifically for outside.

Puppy love has definitely helped me channel my baby angst. Which is, of course, the argument that convinced Ashley we should get a puppy in the first place. We have talked about getting a dog for years (literally) but it was something that we were waiting til after we had kids to do. We were waiting until I could be home more. But that may never happen. So I decided it was time.

And this decision has been wonderful. It has felt like a step forward, when I have spent such a long time treading water. It might not seem like much, but this is about looking at the next 5-10 years, and I don't want to be sitting on my hands forever. 

But I don't want to ramble. I've discovered that when I talk about my dog, I can go forever! I'm sure you'll hear more about my little Henry over this journey.

E xx