Where do we go from here

This has obviously been a bad couple of weeks. I'm coing out of it now, and I think I'm ok.

I was pretty much a mess for most of the last two weeks. I could honestly barely function. And not just because we weren't pregnant. We pretty much already knew that. It was just that that meant I had to say goodbye.

Goodbye to that dream. Goodbye to that vision of my future. Goodbye to having a baby.

I know this sounds melodramatic and like I'm overstating things, but this is  how it feels.

But we are still a family. Ashley and I and our puppy. We are still going to keep going.

And one day, there will be little people. I don't know how they're going to get to us yet, but they will.

So what are the next steps?

Well, we have to wait 6 months to sign up for adoption. So in about April we will submit that paperwork. And then we will wait. And we will pray. And we could be on the adoption waitlist for 5 years. Or more. We might never get a child that way. And we will have to cross that bridge when we get to it.

But we think we might foster. And if we do, we will be the best foster parents we can be.

We have  asked for the Department to send us all the paperwork and so I'll hopefully be able to lodge our application this week. And then there are interviews and inspections and police checks and who knows what else. And then there will be a person, or many persons, who need us. And it will be wonderful.

E xx